Nomadic Nudists – The Nude RV Life!
I was checking the tire pressures on our motor-home the other day, while parked at Florida’s Sunnier Palms Nudist Park, when I discovered that one rear tire was down 35 psi. That’s a lot, and that’s a problem because — follow me closely here — in order to drive our motorhome, we need fully functioning tires.
But there’s another problem: Our motorhome is too big for me to change the tire myself, so we had two options:
Option 1. Get someone to come fix it. This involves calling a person who’s willing to come out to a nudist resort. To me business is business, but there are mobile RV repairmen who refuse to go to a clothing optional resort. One time at Cedar Creek Resort in South Carolina, we couldn’t get a repairman to come look at our motorhome because his girlfriend wouldn’t let him.
The other problem with this option is that they’d probably charge me an arm and a leg to put the spare on, and I’d still need to get the tire fixed.
Option 2. Pump up the tire and drive our RV to the nearest place that can handle fixing RV tires. This was the best option. However, it also mean that — ACK! — we’d have to put clothes on! And if you’ve ever stayed in a nudist or clothing optional RV park, you know how hard it is to get dressed.
When You’re a Nudist RVer . . . it’s Easy to Get Lazy
Here’s what happens when you’re a full-timing naturist RVer. You make a reservation at a clothing optional RV park, and start driving toward it. The longer it takes to get there, the more antsy you become.
If it’s a long way, and you have to spend a few nights at a clothing-required (aka “textile) RV park, you REALLY get antsy. After all, you just want to go set up your little space, strip down and sit outside enjoying the freedom of a clothes-free life. Some hardcore RVer nudists actually drive naked, but we keep the clothes on because, knowing our luck, that would be the day I get pulled over.
When you arrive, you first check in then find your site and get all set up. Then it’s off with the clothes! Actually, we usually get naked while setting up, leaving a trail of clothing from the front to the back of our motorhome.
This can be a bad habit when you travel full-time like us. It’s dangerously easy to forget where you are and start shedding clothes after you pulled into a KOA or some other textile campground.
So you’re settled in and hopefully you’ve packed enough food, beer, wine or whatever sustenance you need for your stay so you can remain naked the entire time. God forbid you have to get dressed and leave the resort for some forgotten item.
Sometimes it’s Good to Force Yourself to Leave!
If you’re only spending a weekend or a few days at a nudist resort, there’s really no reason to leave if you’re stocked up. Some even have restaurants and bars, in case you do run out. And there’s plenty to keep you busy and clothes free.
Take for example Arizona’s Shangri La Ranch. There are two pools where you can either lounge with your favorite beverage or get all active in a friendly water volleyball game. You can play petanque, pickleball or billiards. Friday night you can belt out your favorite songs at karaoke, and Saturday night dance your pants off (so to speak, since they’re probably already off) in the clubhouse. And if you don’t feel like cooking breakfast in the morning because you had a little too much “happy” the night before, you can hit the Bare Buns Cafe for some excellent grub.
But if you have more time, it’s worth throwing on some duds and getting out to explore the local community and more. In the case of Shangri La, that could be the Grand Canyon, only a couple of hours away. How would explain missing that world wonder to your friends and family back home?
You: “It was great! Very relaxing.”
Friends and family: “Did you see the Grand Canyon?”
You: “Uh, no. But look. No tan lines!”
In 2015, we stayed a month at Paradise Lakes in Florida. It was late spring and hot, and we spent most of our time between our RV and the resort’s pool. Since we couldn’t post photos, people on social media began to worry about us. So, we threw on clothes and dashed out to Tarpon Springs and St. Petersburg for some touristy pics that could put everyone’s mind at ease.
But when we left, we really did feel like we missed out on what Florida had to offer. So this past year we returned for the entire winter, staying at Riverboat Club, Eden RV Park and Sunnier Palms Nudist Park so we could have more time to explore while living clothes free.
We kayaked the Weeki Wachee River, and saw the famous Weeki Wachee mermaid show. We checked out many beaches, including two naturist beaches, Blind Creek and Haulover. And, we spent a lot of money shopping and eating outside of the resorts.
Some Things Never Change!
It was still difficult to get dressed each time we planned an excursion. There were times we were running low on food and needed to go grocery shopping. We’d put it off until we had eaten the last packet of tuna and were faced with having nothing but salad dressing for dinner. Like the fable, Belling the Cat, we’d look at each other and ask, “OK, it’s got to get done, but who’s going to get dressed?” Instead of drawing straws, we’d both suck it up and go out together. That’s true love my friends.
Which brings me back to our tire. Our neighbor had a compressor and kindly helped me top off the low tire. That’s the thing about nudists: They are extraordinarily friendly and will go out of their way to help you.
We got up early the next morning, reluctantly dressed and drove our home to the tire shop. As soon as they fixed the leak, we drove right back to Sunnier Palms, and before you could say, “Clothing optional RV resort,” we had optioned our clothing right off our bodies.